Raising Noble Men: Why America Must Set Higher Standards for Its Boys

The Real Crisis Behind the Phone Ban Debate

Across the United States, state legislatures are cracking down on student smartphone use in classrooms. New Jersey is pushing for a strict bell-to-bell ban, while Indiana and Florida are tightening their own policies. Parents and educators broadly agree: constant digital distraction is hurting children — and young men appear to be bearing the heaviest burden.

But smartphones are merely a symptom of a deeper wound. Something more fundamental is going wrong with far too many young men in America today. They are not lacking in intelligence or potential, but an alarming number are adrift — less resilient, less grounded, and increasingly unprepared to shoulder the weight of adult life in ways that previous generations took as a given.

What Universities Are Seeing Firsthand

As a university president, I witness these consequences daily. Young men walk through our doors carrying real talent and genuine ambition, yet a troubling number struggle with the basic disciplines that make success achievable: sustained concentration, perseverance, openness to feedback, and the ability to govern their own impulses rather than be governed by them.

I have sat face to face with students who were intelligent enough to excel and motivated enough to dream boldly — yet they were undone, repeatedly, by ordinary responsibilities that most adults consider baseline expectations. They fell behind not because they lacked ability, but because they could not maintain focus, could not receive criticism without treating it as a personal attack, and could not take deadlines seriously until those deadlines had already passed.

By the time these patterns reach a university campus, they are not a higher education problem. They are the product of years — sometimes an entire childhood — of missed formation.

The Numbers Tell a Sobering Story

The data reinforces what educators are observing on the ground. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, as of October 2024, 69.5% of young women aged 16–24 who had recently graduated high school were enrolled in college, compared to just 55.4% of young men — a gap that continues to widen.

A 2025 Gallup report found that 25% of American men between the ages of 15 and 34 reported feeling lonely on many days. Meanwhile, labor force participation among men aged 20–24 dropped from 82.6% in 2000 to 73.1% in 2022, with projections suggesting a further decline to 68.2% by 2032.

These are not abstract statistics. They represent real men withdrawing from education, work, community, and connection — and the ripple effects touch every family, workplace, and neighborhood they leave behind.

We Have Confused Compassion With Low Expectations

Higher education is a valuable pathway, but it is one of many honorable routes a young man can take. America needs builders, tradespeople, entrepreneurs, military service members, and skilled professionals in equal measure. What every young man does need, regardless of his chosen path, is a road that builds discipline, competence, and a clear sense of purpose.

When boys grow into men without lasting friendships, meaningful work, or mentors who genuinely know them, the damage does not remain private. It spills into the families they form, the workplaces they join, and the communities that depend on reliable, responsible men.

Our culture has played a significant role in creating this deficit. We have confused love with the elimination of hardship. We have lowered standards in the name of compassion and sidestepped difficult conversations in the name of sensitivity. Empathy is essential — but empathy that never demands growth eventually becomes surrender.

Boys tend to rise or fall to the level of expectations placed before them. When those expectations evaporate, most boys do not grow stronger in the absence of challenge. They become fragile.

Screens Are Shaping Boys in the Wrong Direction

We have also handed too much of boyhood over to screens and then expressed puzzlement when attention spans, patience, and self-control began eroding. A smartphone used without boundaries becomes a daily training ground in impulsiveness, distraction, and the relentless pursuit of stimulation.

A boy whose character is shaped by constant instant gratification will struggle profoundly with the unglamorous habits adulthood demands: showing up consistently, pushing through difficult tasks, finishing what he starts, and doing the right thing when no one is watching.

The Answer Is Noble Masculinity — Not Anti-Masculinity

Perhaps the most damaging mistake in recent cultural discourse has been in how we speak about masculinity itself. In rightly condemning the genuinely destructive behaviors displayed by some men, we have too often treated manhood as inherently problematic. Boys hear endless messaging about what not to be — but they rarely hear a compelling vision of what they should become.

That void does not stay empty. It fills with apathy, anger, or a hollow bravado that mimics strength while avoiding responsibility.

The antidote to toxic masculinity is not a war on masculinity. It is noble masculinity — strength held under control, courage directed toward serving others, restraint over appetite, and a sense of honor that requires no audience. That is the vision we should be setting before every young man in America.

What We Can Do Right Now — Without Waiting for Washington

Changing this trajectory does not require a federal program or another national task force. Families, schools, churches, employers, and civic leaders can begin rebuilding the conditions that form boys into men — starting today.

Restore Mentorship as a Cultural Norm

Every school, congregation, civic organization, and neighborhood should be able to say honestly that no boy in their community grows up without the guidance of good men. Boys need sustained, real relationships with men who model integrity, hard work, restraint, and responsibility — men who will challenge them, correct them, and draw them into genuine adult life through honest conversation and shared service.

Reinstate Standards That Actually Mean Something

Schools must enforce conduct expectations that protect the learning environment and demand basic decency. Coaches should be willing to bench talented players who disrespect teammates. Employers should reward reliability and directly address immaturity rather than enabling it. Parents must insist on chores, punctuality, and honesty at home — and teach boys from an early age that strength is never a license to demean, intimidate, or manipulate others, especially women.

The Window Does Not Stay Open Forever

This is urgent, and we need to stop pretending otherwise. The season in which boys are formed into men does not remain open indefinitely. Habits are built early, reinforced constantly, and either cultivated or neglected with every year that passes.

If we continue treating this as a theoretical debate while boys drift in real time, we risk losing another generation — and the work of repair will be far longer and far harder than the work of prevention.

America does not need more commentary about young men. It needs adults willing to do the hard work of rebuilding the conditions that form them. Families, faith communities, schools, and civic institutions all have a role to play. At universities like mine, we are embracing that responsibility — not simply to produce capable graduates, but to shape men of genuine character.

The goal was never simply to move boys across the threshold into adulthood. The goal has always been to raise noble men. The time to start — or to start again — is now.